cosmos: part 1

The Universe was humming. The humming, a result of the Universe. The Universe, a result of the humming. So she lay in the bathtub. Her massive, amorphous body swimming, and swishing, as the melodic utterances, resonating from her core, resulted in matter. She grew. And as she grew, the humming grew louder. And as the humming grew louder, she grew.
He knocked on her bathroom door. His knocks inconsequential waves in the porcelain void. Poor, wretched, little creature of a beast. His nose drooping sluggishly below his chin. He knew it was the Universe behind that door. The Universe, naked and gorgeous. Naked and foul. And he had a question.
Don Barginear, aged 48, from Waukesha. He let the stubble on his chin, just beside his droopy nose, dig into his fingertips. Clearing his throat, he reached for the brass doorknob.

-

“Shh! Quiet! Quiet!”

The cosmic deities, dancing in slender slipperiness seemed to have forgotten themselves.

“Shh! Quiet! Hush!” The Wisest one proclaimed.

Still they buzzed, in and out of themselves, embracing, kissing, colliding, moving as sound and light.

“No! No! No!” The Wisest one had grown impatient.

“Listen! Something is happening on Earth!”

Oh, Earth. What a cute little planet, a reliable source of entertainment.

The deities surrounded the Wisest one.

“Earth? Tell us more. What is happening?” They sang at the Wisest.

-

Mellie was at it again.

“So which one of youse is gonna go after it?”

“Wuh- well, well, Mellie, how come we have to go?”

Jeremy had a way of asking just the right question in just the wrong way.

“Jeremy does have a point. You were the one who kicked the ball, so it really should be you to go after it.”

“You gonna get sassy, Hugo?” Mellie stretched her neck out threateningly. And, already being a few inches taller than either of them, Hugo and Jeremy knew this was a fight they could not win.

“Nah. Don’t get started on Hugo like that, Mellie. I was just thinking maybe it should be all of us to do it.”

Hugo twisted the watch on his wrist, assessing the situation.

It was the abandoned dollar store. The ball had managed to get in through one of the back windows. And how were they supposed to get in there?

“Well, the real issue is that we haven’t yet a plan for getting in there. It seems like an impossible task for just one of us,” said Hugo, still staring at his watch.

Mellie’s neck had relaxed and her eyes were now sparkling as she was beginning to realize that-

“An adventure! This could be an adventure! Hugo, a plan! We need a plan!”

“Yes, that’s what I—“

“Shh! Hugo, let me think… How the hell we gettin in there?”

-

Why was the Universe bathing? And who could dare to dream such nonsense? Only poor, Don Barginear. Don from Waukesha.  And of all the countless fools and wise men wondering at midnight,  only a simpleton might think to just ask the Universe directly.

And maybe it was Don’s frequent, unexpected urgency to pee that made a bathroom scene appropriate.

“Hey, Universe, if yer not opening the door fer me, Imma just walk in there, anyway, cuz I gotta pee.”

What was he expecting to see through that squeaky door? Certainly not what he found, no, not our Don. He couldn’t possibly have imagined, well…

-

“Oh! What Joy! What love!”

The deities were swooning. They were so easily entertained, so easily enamored by every little Earth thing. An old man laughing, a cat stretching its hind legs, three children retrieving a ball from an abandoned dollar store. Things were happening. Things were always happening on Earth. They danced and sang and shone.

“See how they live, the Earthlings?”

“Oh, yes. Day after day.”

“Oh, what it would be to live and die.”

“A full life.”

“To wonder.”

“To see only a moment at a time.”

“Shh!” said the Wisest, “They’re not finished.”